Why does green have to be ugly?

Whether its cars or clothes, green needs a makeover.

By Imogen Roy

‘Environmentally-friendly.’‘Green.’ Ecological.’ ‘Fair trade.’ Giving Mother Nature a helping hand by buying products with planet-saving labels is all the rage these days, from lampshades to pet accessories. And even if it is that little bit more expensive, don’t fret when buying your £5 organic cotton socks, you are doing your bit, feel better about yourself! However, there is one small drawback. Why does ‘green’ have to go hand-in-hand with ‘goddamn ugly’?

Take environmentally-friendly cars for instance. Perusing a catalogue of such vehicles, I read that they are reliable, cheap and ‘future proof.’ Some are electric, some are hybrids, some are totally fuel-free, run on air and still reach impressive speeds. But despite the lingo, they all look, well, rubbish. The Zero Pollution Motors ‘Air Car’ looks like something found in your little brother’s Duplo set (minus the teeth marks.) The Pininfarina Nido (try getting your tongue round that one) ‘Concept Car’ resembles an even more desperately uncool Smart Car. With two doors and a perfectly rounded form, it belon

gs in a cartoon.What goes on in the minds of these autodesigners truly baffles me. Is it really so hard to envision a ‘green’ car that isn’t completely and utterly hideous? There is one exception which the average car enthusiast might actually want to own. The sleek little sports car comes in crimson red, has those aggressive angular details that make young men stop and swoon, and even resembles a Porsche. But before you get too excited, the Tesla Roadster has a three hour charge, and the manufacturers have refused to add a artificial engine noise to these cars. So if those wayward pedestrians don’t see you coming at 125mph, they definitely won’t hear you.  The car industry has only recently caught on to the eco-friendly movement to be fair, so perhaps we can almost forgive them for not perfecting their style.

The clothing industry on the other hand, has for several decades had an, albeit small, concern for the environment ad fair-trade, resulting in many a hemp hessian sack dress available in taupe, stone or faun. There has been a boom in the last five years or so in ‘ethical’ fashion, with big global companies like Marks & Spencer launching their own organic cotton range, while Stella McCartney has always proclaimed to use environmentally-friendly materials in all her products. Yet still, most eco-friendly fashion items seem to come in various shades of beige and in rather heavy, unsexy materials, suggesting a coconut husk.  Even the most successful environmental fashion product of the last few years, Anya Hindmarch’s ‘Not a Plastic Bag’ designed for Sainsburys was made of canvas. It’s not rocket science; the cool kids aren’t going to wear ugly shoes, even if they are good for the earth. These design teams need to seriously up their game, or otherwise pray that jute suddenly comes into style. Which is about as likely as catching me driving a Pinifarina Nido.