House parties - the break down

All you need to know about the stages of a house party

By Poppy Rowley

I’ve haven’t been “out out”  (that infamous phrase meaning more than popping to Sainsbury’s for a pint of milk, more than heading over to the Hyde Social for a pint or the Terrace for a quickie after Uni, it means doing the make-up doing the dress and going down-town for some serious dancing) in a while. 

There are two reason’s for this, firstly I guess that as it’s my second year in Leeds the novelty has worn off a bit but mainly it’s the newer and cheaper world of house parties that has opened up to me.  So maybe they don’t have the same drink choice, or someone sober to clear up your glasses and you’re going to look like a prat if you wear heels and a dress you can’t sit down in but that’s just the charm.  You don’t have to worry about power-mad bouncers, stupid prices, closing time and remembering your ID.   

In my mind they can be divided into five separate categories: 

1)  The Cafe

These are the house parties which aren’t what you’d really call a party, more like a gathering of persons who don’t know each other, don’t have enough alcohol to get to know each other and the music isn’t loud enough to drown out those awkward hushes that spread across a room.  I find myself becoming increasingly eccentric as the lack of conversation puts me on edge.  On a recent occasion I received a dressing down from one girl who pushed passed and without a g

lance up  muttered “You look nice, like your shoes”.  My white docs and I left soon after.

2) The Pub

These are the ones where a couple of people come round for a chat and a drink.  There’s no need to dress up cause you’re not trying to pull and you’re not going anywhere, right?  You’re just going to sit around, maybe have a shisha and watch some Family Guy.  It’s casual and unplanned and suddenly it’s five in the morning and you’re shaving half your mates hair off. 

3) The Bar

These are planned.  You’ve agreed to get together and get merry but it’s not everyone you know, just a couple, the ones you really like spending time with.  You’ve got some music and a round of Ring of Fire or Fuzzy Duck may well be on the cards.  In fact it wouldn’t be doubtful that someone gets on the coffee table sings awfully along to Journey and then kicks a wine glass against the wall in some failed 80s move. 

4) The Club

Now we’re reaching the big ones.  This category encompasses occasions: ‘Birthday’, ‘Halloween’, ‘Mardi Gras’, ‘Thursday’ (sometimes any occasion, any excuse).  These are the ones where things get pretty hectic.  You’ve got the sound system, you’ve got enough booze for at least 12 hours solid drinking and you might be lucky enough to be in fancy dress.  This is where the ‘randoms’ come in, it can’t be helped, they hear the music from the bottom of your street.  I know one instance where a guy would introduce himself and say nothing else but “I am from Columbia” for the entire night.

5) The Rave

These are the fabled house parties, the ones that make the headlines, the ones your parents hear about and pray that their sweet, innocent child has not been embroiled in.  At a minimum there’ll be 300 people and they normally only occur at those mansions where the garden’s big enough to fit a small zoo in – which is pretty much what they end up as.  You’ve gone along because a friend of a friend heard about it from their mate who went to the last one and said there were fire-eaters.  There’s normally a couple of sound systems, a fire outside, a fair few people selling laughing gas amongst other things and definitely no loo roll.  If you’re up for a massively heavy night and making an eclectic new group of friends then go go go!  But I would personally advise taking along someone to talk to for those first couple of hours before you reach the right level. 

At all house parties there are some things that always occur: some one will undoubtedly spill a drink – it can’t be helped, there’s a lot of floor space and not enough table space; there’s always a creep -  you don’t how it happens, you might not even know them (though sometimes its someone you do know who’s done that bit too much) but they’re always there, greasily flirting with anything that moves and anxious at all times to maintain bodily contact; there’s normally a couple of wide eyed people with an exuberant amount of energy for eight in the morning, having intense talks about the best condiment to go on chips; and of course, there’s the one who throws up and the one who passes out (sometimes different people, often the same). 

But the best bit about going to house parties all the time?  It makes going “out out” that bit more special.