Clucking ‘Ell, is that Eric Cantona?
For the week of my Birthday, my mum, dad and sister had booked flights to Lyon and I was to meet them at the airport. Typically of them, not only were they the last people from their flight to make it to Arrivals, but thanks to my sister having left her passport on the plane, [...]
Grouchy Graduate
The time has finally come. After months of putting it off, I am now living the life of a graduate. I am unemployed, rejected from most unpaid work – apart from in a charity shop, which I am working in twice a week and living off frozen peas. It is actually uncannily similar to life [...]
An apple?! But that’s got carbs in it.’ Well maybe I like carbs. Shoot me.
Dieting: most of us probably kicked off the New Year with good intentions to eat more green things and occasionally break a sweat. We’re now in mid-February so the diet has either worked (you’re considerably smaller but shit company) or it hasn’t (you remain positively chubs but can still crack a smile). I’ve been thinking [...]
12 – Finding a Home
Warning: it’s a long one. I’ve wanted to write this post for a while now. Not only was it a glaringly obvious gap in coverage of this year’s Egyptian year abroad, being, after all, the first thing you need to deal with on arrival in this cramped, hectic and dusty new world – but for [...]
Seggsellent!
Having barely discussed the procedure of Vajazzling in my blog titled ‘To Vajazzle or not to vajazzle’, I felt it necessary to delve into the issue of sex accessorizing. This pointless investigation may well be so I can simply repeat the one term that has managed to combine vagina and jazz into a gloriously delightful [...]
Calm your tits, it’s only Valentine’s day
Despite having been single since time immemorial, I still frickin’ love this lame excuse of a celebration, namely because like a twelve-year-old girl, my favourite colours are red and pink and for at least 3 weeks, everything is one of these colours and heart-shaped. Score! My most memorable V-day was a few years back, although [...]
Fear not, there is a solution…
…and that is prospects.ac.uk. Before I tell you the profound question to which my solution refers, I will fill you in on my trip to Leeds University but a short while ago. It went a little something like this: ***Cue mystical scene change from that 70s show*** Me: Hello dear friend, how are you [...]
Sex Education: to Vajazz or not to Vajazz
Certain things tell me I am officially back at University. I look up to find myself sitting in what I can only describe as a place where dreams come to die: our sitting room. I get pretty angry about the one pound delivery charge from Siciliano’s when they live right opposite- I mean how lazy [...]
Getting Baked
Sometimes we all just get the munchies, whether from a hard day studying or something quite the opposite. It was just spontaneous hunger that influenced my girlfriend and I to phone up the newly founded company ‘Get Baked’. I’m not sure why I felt obliged to order a plaque-inducing amount of sugar coated treats, but [...]