Yoda the snake: ‘my storm drain hell’

The infamous Charles Morris snake is back from the dead.

After vanishing down a plughole last term, it was feared that the pygmy boa constrictor had been lost for good, swallowed up by the waters of urban legend and domestic sewage. University experts predicted the snake’s death, solemnly announcing last term that “it is very unlikely that the snake has survived the recent cold weather”, before offering their condolences to the distraught owner. All hope had been lost, and the sky turned black over Charles Morris Halls.

Yet, defying all expectations and displaying the tenacity of a Pixar character, the snake wriggled free from the network of water pipes, survived the freezing Yorkshire winter and no doubt learnt the true meaning of friendship and cooperation along the way.

The snake, owned by a first year resident of Storm Jameson, was found over the Easter break by a workman carrying out routine maintenance on the hall’s central heating system. It is believed that she survived the cold weather by curling around a hot-water pipe. A member of the Biological Sciences faculty came to unwind the snake before a vet checked her vital signs. The whole ordeal is believed to have cost the University close to £1,000 after hiring outside specialists to come in. Leeds Student is also led to believe the owner has lost the cost of tearing up his floorboards in search for the snake from his accommodation deposit.

Tributes have flooded in from across the University for the snake’s miraculous revival. “Frankly, it’s time we ditched the Griffin and adopted the Charles Morris snake as our university mascot,” said India Grant, President-Elect of United Nations Association. Adding, “who cares about mythical lion-birds when we’ve got our very own miracle-reptile here at the University?” President of German Society Lauren Cowgill echoed the praise saying: “Honestly, this has made my term. If this snake can survive all that, then anything is possible.”

Members of Charles Morris Hall, however, have been somewhat mixed in their enthusiasm for the reptile’s return. On resident explained: “Although it’s great to see the snake back with her owner, I can’t help but a little less safe in my en suite now. Knowing that reptile could quite happily survive in my pipes for months is a little unsettling.”

Whilst it was hoped that the snake, known as Yoda, would remain in Storm Jameson as a symbol of hope and perseverance to inspire a generation, the University maintains a strict no-pets policy in halls; even those with heart-warming, family-friendly tales of survival against-the-odds.