The Lowdown – Pro-crastination
January is absolutely the turd of the bunch as months go. In addition to the never ending dark, everyone realises they’re fat and poor. This is compounded nicely by the fact that we have the misery of exams to deal with.
Being tested and the associated stress is a strange thing. We’ve been doing tests and exams since the age of four, and yet we still treat them with fear and contempt.
Student attitudes to exams are fairly ridiculous and we are all guilty of them. We speak of them as if they weren’t originally part of the student deal, a dastardly surprise sprung on us by Rio Ferdinand in cahoots with the university. What we seemingly expected otherwise is a mystery? A game of ‘stuck in the mud’ to gauge academic progress? Top Trumps against lecturers to sort out the 2:1’s from the 2:2’s?
What is wrong with us that makes us so unable to do the simple thing and start revision early, doing a little bit everyday? Any exam stress I have ever experienced has been completely self-inflicted and is all too predictable, through a mean combination of dedicated procrastination and computer games. All I need is a casual drugs habit and I’ve pretty much become the only character Seth Rogan has ever played.
A friend informed me last week to put off studying she convinced herself that she needed a wax, and that it definitely took priority over her revision. Seemingly a trim fanny is more important to us than knocking out some serious grades to show for our serious debt.
Still who’d want to be the prat with a first and a scruffy muff?
However with all that now firmly behind us, its time to look ahead to the rest of the year and beyond. For first years this means moping around Hyde Park trying to secure a crack den to live in next year. Second years should be looking ahead to trying to bag those all important placements/slave labour for Easter and summer, in a vain but futile attempt to secure a crap job upon graduation. Third years however, will be concentrating ALL of their energies and efforts on compiling a comprehensive list of people they are going to try and knob before they graduate. The downside – there are only 5 months left of hedonistic student revelry with which to attempt such outlandish conquests. The Upside – smutty remarks and wild lunges come with a greatly reduced social risk, as if played carefully and you fail, you’re likely to never see them again! It’s got win/win written all over it, so go wild you kerayzee kids.