A Royal Bore
Kate Middleton, we learned this week, is now engaged to marry Prince William. There are many great things about Prince William – he is an officer in the RAF and is therefore helping to protect the country, he does a huge amount for charity and just generally seems like an all-round decent guy.
BUT, dare I say it, he does seem a wee bit boring. Britain, our beloved Isle, is a veritable hub of creativity and individuality. Our shores have bred some of the finest, most eccentric and dashing characters the planet has ever seen, and throughout the ages our monarchy has reflected this admirably. Our rulers are traditionally charismatic, sexy and more than a little bit peculiar. For example, Henry VIII, an enormous pudding of a man with a ginger beard, still managed to pull of sex-appeal and bag himself 6 wives. George IV, similarly enigmatic, pushed extravagance and decadence to its limit when he built an Indian style palace for his horses. You get the picture. We like our monarchs to be a bit on the wild side. Wills however, just doesn’t seem to fit the bill.
Yes, he’s a bit of a hottie, in a toothy sort of way, but he almost radiates dullness. No rakish lothario here, just reliable, responsible Wills in his crewneck and loafers. I just can’t seem to detect any wild sex appeal about Will; I can imagine him folding his socks before embarking on a night of ‘passion’ but maybe this is just me. Then again, perhaps ‘reliable’ is a good thing – we all know how disastrously Charles’ first marriage turned out, and he was a definite cad in his day.
Taking all this into consideration, I just can’t bring myself to get excited about the Royal engagement. Maybe it is William’s wallpaper credentials (he blends into the background) or perhaps I’m simply getting cynical.
I suppose the main reason for my hideous lack of anticipation is that the whole situation just isn’t that riveting. The couple have already lived together, they’ve been together on-and-off for more or less 9 years; this engagement has been a loooong time coming for waity-Katie. Still, you can guarantee it will provide plenty of fodder for the media machine to gush over, and is sure to give our mums something to talk about.
Like Wills, Kate also seems very…sensible. Glossy and polished to a point that seems almost unnatural for an English girl; by all accounts they seem to be a perfect match. Even bearing this in mind, I don’t fully understand why Kate would want to marry Will. Yes he’s a Prince, but what does that actually mean? From where I’m standing, it signifies merely a lifetime of toeing the line, dressing sensibly and stopping after one drink (hopefully she’s learnt from the roller-skating debacle). Then again, maybe it truly is as simple as a boy meeting a girl and falling in love, whatever that may be.